My Lovely Horse: when Father Ted produced a perfect Eurovision parody

From its baffling tunes to its outlandish outfits, the Eurovision Song Contest is ripe for parody. And 22 years ago Father Ted lampooned it in memorable fashion.

Originally airing in April 1996 as part of the second series, 'A Song For Europe' remains one of the sitcom's most beloved moments.

With Eurovision 2018 taking place this weekend, we take a look back at Craggy Island's finest musical hour.

'Dougal, get the guitar'

On a restless day at Father Ted's parochial house, Dougal has got "Euro-song fever" - and is convinced he and Ted should bid to represent Ireland.

Ted insists they haven't got the talent, but upon hearing that slippery rival Father Dick Byrne is entering, ego compels him to go toe-to-toe with his nemesis.

"Dougal, get the guitar..."

It's fair to say that Ted and Dougal's bid doesn't run smoothly.

Writing an ode to a rural animal is obviously a risk at the best of times, and their song - 'My Lovely Horse' - struggles to take flight.

Over the unfolding hours, Ted devolves into a cliché of the rock n roll creative process. "Just play the f***ing note," he rants, through a haze of cigarette smoke; discarded cans and wrappers piled around them.

"[It's] not the greatest song in history; it’s just the silliest"

Neil Hannon

Much later, exhausted, all the duo have to show for their efforts is a bunch of lyrics about "fetlocks blowing in the wind", "horse dentists" - and a horribly discordant tune to go with it.

Father Jack, never one to mince his words, doesn't even bother with a "feck", "a**e" or "eejit". He simply explodes Ted's guitar into pieces with a shotgun.

"The lyrics are fine, no problem there," sighs Ted, optimistically. But what will they do about the music?

Divine inspiration

Enter Dougal's favourite song, an obscure pop number by "Nin Huguen and the Huguenotes" which finished fifth in A Song For Norway in 1976.

So obscure in fact, that Ted surmises no one will ever know if they simply lift its melody and pair it with their lyrics for My Lovely Horse. Especially as the band, their manager and everyone involved with the song died in a plane crash decades earlier.

With a cunning plan duly hatched, the priests set their eyes on stardom.

Filled with excitement, Dougal dreams of their cut-and-shut ditty being transformed into a hit pop video, complete with 'sexy' pool scene, and a psychedelic solo.

It's catchy, hummable perfection. What could possibly go wrong?

Nil points

When the big day in Dublin finally comes, Ted is beset by nerves.

To make matters worse, when the hated Dick Byrne takes to the stage for his own rival turn, he flips the pair two fingers before launching into a majestic We Are The World style ballad, complete with a backing choir, showboating keyboardist, and soaring chorus.

And then everything starts to fall apart.

Upon temporarily fleeing to grab a quick, stress-abating smoke, Ted hears that the elevator music in the venue is in fact the tune they have stolen - and that people walking around the building are whistling it.

Realising that they must abandon their stolen melody and revert to their original version, lest they be revealed as the thieves they are, the inevitable happens.

When Ted and Dougal's big moment comes, the performance is catastrophic.

Clad in their glittering blue jackets, the pair flounder through an out-of-tune, mono-note rendition, like scared six-year-olds at a primary school concert (only without the benefit of a sy